


Growing Up

by delusioninabox



Series: Moms of Ineffable Idiots (in Love) [1]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crushes, Family, Humor, M/M, Mother-Son Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:00:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24096220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/delusioninabox/pseuds/delusioninabox
Summary: The aftermath of Aziraphale "rescuing" a drunk Crowley from a party -- from their mothers' perspectives.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: Moms of Ineffable Idiots (in Love) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1744594
Comments: 36
Kudos: 129





	Growing Up

**Author's Note:**

> I have read too many human/high school AUs where Crowley and/or Aziraphale have bad parents. So I wanted a "WHAT IF THEY BOTH HAVE REALLY NICE MOMS, ACTUALLY." Specifically a twist on a common scene I see a lot: drunk Crowley crashing at Aziraphale's house. These dorks have 99 problems, but bad parents aren't one. (Okay, except for Crowley's dad, who is not seen here because I for some reason just like the idea of him having a single mom.) Their moms are best friends like their sons because of course they are.
> 
> Think of this as a Mother's Day gift to the fandom. 😂 As well as to my own mother, who I always miss terribly this time of year.

The abrupt ring of a cell phone startled Mrs. Elizabeth Fell awake. Her husband groaned and rolled over while she flailed her hand across the nightstand, searching for her mobile.

“Hello?” Her eyes fluttered, unsure if they should awaken or not. Vicious sobbing was all she heard in response. Elizabeth sat up at once, eyes wide and alert. “Lily, are you alright?” She glanced at the alarm clock. Nearly 3 a.m.

“I got home from work,” Lily cried, “and Anthony isn’t here! He’s not in his bed, not in the house, and the Bentley is gone—”

“Calm down, dear, calm down.” Elizabeth flew from the bed and to the hall. “I’m sure he’s quite fine. Breath.” She heard Ms. Crowley take several deep, shaky breaths. “That’s it, dear. You know your Anthony. Always a bit of a free spirit, that boy.” She headed straight for Aziraphale’s bedroom. “Let me ask Zira. I’m sure Anthony told him wherever he was going—” She froze.

Aziraphale’s door was ajar.

She peeked into the dark room. No one was there. A pile of blankets and pillows laid suspiciously on the floor.

“Liz?”

“Sorry. One moment, dear.” A loud retched heaving drew her attention further down the hall. Light was peeking through the gap underneath the bathroom door. Elizabeth strode to the door and covered the phone with one hand. “Goodness, Zira, honey, are you okay?”

“O-oh! Yes, mom, of course!” he answered, but the sound of another retch drowned out his words. She furrowed her brow and threw open the door. Aziraphale jumped with a squeak, eyes wide. He was sitting on the side of the tub, a hand on Anthony’s back, who was hunched over the toilet.

Anthony turned his head slightly over. “Hi, Mrs. Fell,” he croaked, just as another compulsion to puke hit him.

Mrs. Fell sighed and put the phone back to her ear. “He’s here, Lily. Seems the boys decided on their own impromptu sleepover.”

“O-oh. Oh, thank god.” Her voice was still shaky, but this time with relief.

“I suspect your son is not in a state to drive and requires a talking to,” she said. “ _Again._ ” Aziraphale grimaced and pat Anthony’s back again as he mumbled something in response.

“This boy, I swear...,” Lily replied, the anxiety in her voice waning. “I’m sorry he’s such a menace. I promise I’ll talk to him and this won’t happen again.”

“It can wait. Get some sleep, dear. You can pick him up in the morning.” She leaned against the door frame with a small smile. “Your troublemaker is always welcome here.”

Lily let out a soft laugh. “Thank you.”

“Of course. Let me know when you’re on your way.” Lily affirmed she would. Once the call clipped off, her eyes narrowed in on the boys like a hawk. Aziraphale gulped. Anthony was too busy with his own misery to notice. “Now. Clearly there is a story here.”

“Well...yes.” Aziraphale wrung his hands. “I suppose there is.”

“I look forward to hearing it over breakfast,” she said. “But for now, let’s get this one in better shape.” She sighed. “I’ll get some water and aspirin. Anything for you, dear?” Aziraphale shook his head. “Alright. Keep taking care of your boyfriend.”

“ _Mom—!_ ”

Anthony’s head jerked up from the toilet. “Wai — his wha —”

“Nothing!” Aziraphale cried, pushing his head back down. “You’re tickety-boo.”

Elizabeth smirked to herself as she turned away.

***

Mr. Fell had already left for work by the time the boys made their way downstairs, summoned by the smell of bacon and eggs. Aziraphale made his way to the table with slow steps, head down to avoid eye contact. Anthony stumbled over half-asleep, but slid into his usual seat with a grin.

“Heeeey Mrs. Fell,” he said. “Good morning. Breakfast smells amazing. You’re a great cook. I’ve told you that, right? Fantastic. Better than my own mom.” He winced. “Er, don’t tell her I said that.”

“I certainly will not because your mother is a hard working woman who you should do better to appreciate,” Elizabeth replied as she placed plates down in front of both of them.

Anthony stared down at his plate. “Ngk. You’re right. Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize to me, young man. You worried your mother sick last night.” She took her own seat with a cup of coffee. “Now, I do believe I’m owed an explanation.” Both boys shared a look. Anthony turned away and stuffed his mouth with food. Aziraphale sighed in defeat, having lost their wordless argument.

“Well, um. I was still up reading when I got a text to, uh, come pick him up from a party. So I did. He fell asleep when we got home until — well. You know that part.” Elizabeth gave her son her most unimpressed stare. As expected, Aziraphale caved almost immediately. “I know, I know...I should have woken you up! But he promised he’d be up and home before his mom even knew he was missing and, well...” He murmured, “I didn’t want him to get in trouble.”

“You trusted the word of a drunk person to get up early and home responsibly?” she asked with a raised brow.

“He...he was very persuasive!”

“Hey, don’t blame _me!_ ” Anthony protested. “ _You’re_ supposed to be the responsible one!” He put a hand over his heart. “If anything, you both should be proud of me that I at least didn’t drive drunk.”

“Only because Bee took your keys away!” Aziraphale argued. “You’re lucky one of them had any sense at all. Trying to find you in that house was a _complete_ nightmare!”

Anthony patted his pockets. “Oh. So that’s where those went.” He flashed a smile and shrugged. “But you did find me, so, all’s well.”

Aziraphale snorted. “Found you throwing off your shirt and—”

Anthony paled. “ _Zira!_ Not in front of your _mom!_ ” Aziraphale tutted and cross his arms. Elizabeth took a sip of coffee.

Her son said, “Oh, so _now_ you have some sense of dignity... What happened to ‘I don’t remember anything’?” Anthony buried his face in his hands with a groan in response.

“Don’t worry, I’ve heard enough,” Elizabeth said. “Will you at least explain to your mother why decided to party hard without telling her?”

“Yes ma’am,” Anthony said into his hands.

“And apologize for worrying her?”

“Yes.”

“And promise not to do it again?”

“Ngk. Y-yeah.”

“Good.” She took another sip and then leveled her gaze on her own son. “And you, my dear, will absolutely wake me up if this happens again. Won’t you?”

He nodded quickly. “Yes mom.”

The door bell rang and Anthony’s hands dropped to his lap. “Fuck.”

“Language, dear,” Elizabeth and Aziraphale said at once. Mrs. Fell rose to answer the door, returning shortly with Lily trailing behind her. Lily strode over to her son, who rose to meet her.

“Mom, I—”

Lily pulled him to her chest, wrapping him in a tight hug and burying her face in his hair. “Don’t you ever, _ever_ scare me like that again.”

“It was just a party, mom.”

“I couldn’t find you! I come home to an empty house and I was so scared that your father might have— that he—” She didn’t finish her sentence. Anthony raised his arms and returned the hug. Aziraphale and Elizabeth both looked away, offering some privacy.

“I’m sorry, mom,” Anthony mumbled.

She sighed and pulled back, keeping her hands on his shoulders. “We’ll talk about this more, okay?” He nodded mutely. She kissed his forehead and let him go. “I didn’t see the Bentley outside. Not crashed into anything, is it?”

He scowled. “I would _never_!” She smiled and ruffled his hair, which earned another protest of, “ _Mom!_ ” His attempts to fix it were a lost cause. (Not that it had been anything other than bed head since he woke up.) Lily put a hand on his shoulder, latching him close to her side. She met Elizabeth’s gaze with appreciation.

“Thank you for last night and this morning,” she said.

“Any time,” Elizabeth replied with her own smile. “Coffee or tea before you go?”

“Afraid not,” Lily answered with a shake of her head. “I’ve been busy making a list of chores to keep him busy for the rest of summer all morning. He’s going to need to get started now if he’s to see either of you again anytime soon.” Anthony opened his mouth to argue, but thought better of it and snapped it shut. At least, she thought that’s what it was until she glanced at his son. He’d been giving Anthony a stern warning glare.

She met Lily’s eyes, trying to hide her amusement. “That’s too bad,” she said. “Let’s do this again sometime, but perhaps planned and not as an after party.” She raised her mug. “Drive safe.” After a few more good-byes, Lily left with her son. Aziraphale fidgeted under his mom’s studying gaze.

“W-what?” he stammered.

Elizabeth cracked a grin. “So he didn’t come over here drunk and accidentally confess his love to you like one of those fanfics you like to read?”

“ _Mom!_ ”

“I mean, it’s okay if he did.”

“He most certainly did _not_ because he doesn’t — and I don’t —”

“It’s better if he does it sober anyway, trust me.” Elizabeth brought her mug to the sink and turned on the faucet. “You know you can always make the first move, right?”

“Oh, good lord.” He leapt from his seat. “I am not having this conversation, mother. We are best friends, he had a rough night, absolutely nothing happened, and that’s that. I’m going back to my room to finish my book.”

Elizabeth paused from washing the dishes as his feet hit the steps. “Aziraphale!” she hollered. “Don’t forget to wash the toilet!”

***

Both mother and son remained silent as their drive home began. Lily had no idea what to say. Anthony was biting his nails as he stared out the window. She suspected he didn’t either. As they approached an intersection, he said, “Wait, turn here. I need to pick up my keys and the Bentley from Bee.”

“Later,” Lily said. She tightened her grip on the steering wheel. “We need to have a talk first.”

He grunted. “I already said I was sorry.” He reached to turn on the radio, but she nudged his hand away. He crossed his arms.

“Anthony.” He ignored her and turned back to the window. Lily continued, “That’s not what I meant.” She drummed her fingers on the steering wheel and pursed her lips. “I want to be clear with you. I don’t think partying or drinking is a bad thing in itself. But...the sneaking around to do it, the lying, and overdoing the amount. That’s...that’s what worries me.” He didn’t respond. She darted her eyes at him for a second and then back to the road. His face remained locked to stare outside the passenger window.

“You don’t need to tell me why if you don’t want to,” she continued. “You don’t want to tell me everything. I get it. You’re entitled to your own privacy. But I think...I think it’d be good if we see a therapist. Both of us. I know the divorce has been...hard.”

“It’s only hard because Dad’s an asshole,” Anthony mumbled.

In spite of everything, Lily chuckled. “That he is,” he said. “If I make an appointment...will you go? I won’t force you. You can say no. And I promise I will go too. I know my anxiety isn’t...well, it’s not helpful, is it?”

He turned back to look at her. “Not your fault,” he said softly.

“I know, but. Still.”

He was quiet for a moment. Then, finally, he said, “I just...I don’t know. I know it worries you. That’s why I don’t tell you. But I don’t know why I...” He frowned and stared down at his lap. “I hate that I do it. Afterwards. Like now. I hate that I keep doing this to you. And the Fells too.”

“We forgive you,” she replied. “You know that right?”

“Yeah, but you shouldn’t have to.” He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. You’re right. If you think it’ll help, I...I guess we can try it.”

“Good,” she said. Her grip on the steering wheel finally relaxed. “Good. We both can.”

“Yeah.” Silence filled the car, but this time more relaxed.

Lily smiled and glanced over as the car stopped at a red light. “I do hope Aziraphale’s rescue was worth the trouble you’re in.”

“Oh my god, mom,” he said, his eyes lighting up. “You should have _seen_ him. He freakin’ threatened to call the cops on everyone if they didn’t help him find me. It was like the parting of the red sea when I saw him! Some of the guys hassled him to let me stay and he tore them a new one, all prim and proper like. It was the most badass thing I’d ever seen. I wish you could have seen their faces!” He laughed and Lily found herself joining him. “I could barely walk straight and he carried me to his house. _Carried_ me! Made a whole mountain of pillows and blankets for me to sleep on and even washed my shirt.” He threw his head back against the headrest and ran both hands through his hair. “Ugh. He’s so fucking nice. Like he’s not even real.”

“I see there’s a reason you call him ‘Angel’.”

Anthony’s whole face grew red. “Er, yeah.”

“Did you finally tell him?”

“Ngk.” He squirmed in his seat. “No. I said I couldn’t remember anything.”

“What a waste. That would have been a real movie moment to confess your crush.”

“ _Mom!_ ”

She already knew she’d been swapping notes with Elizabeth later.

**Author's Note:**

> What can I say? Moms gunna mom.
> 
> If you enjoyed this, I also draw and write my own stuff! 😘
> 
>  **Twitter:** <https://twitter.com/delusioninabox>  
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